we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
