I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
