I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the day after is always just damage control
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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