I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
