He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
