I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
