She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Are we still banned from the library?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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