I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
