It was confusing and full of hummus
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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