i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
