So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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