omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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