Whod you bang
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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