just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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