he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
