I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
