why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
