Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
