I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
