he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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