If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
