Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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