Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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