apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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