and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fuck appropriateness.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
