After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I touched a dick in church today
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
