I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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