we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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