Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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