There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
