This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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