Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
