Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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