I want to stick my p in your. b.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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