What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
