what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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