just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
