At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
