I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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