Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
