Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
