All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
