Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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