Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
