The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
