He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
