I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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