Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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