I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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