And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
