i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
