I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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