yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
