i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
